This is… Wow… I wish I had a friend who wld do this for me when I told them about my cutting problemsThe other night I was Skyping with one of my best friends. She lives in Holland and I live in America, so we don’t get to talk often. I trust her so much, and every time we talk I just feel so loved. She’s amazing.
I was talking to her about cutting, and started telling her about how I sometimes take pictures of my self-harm instead of writing about it, or in addition to writing about it. I don’t normally show people the pictures, but I sent her a few. She had been sharing her screen with me because I’d been watching her draw something, so I saw when she opened the files.
She opened this picture, kept it on the screen for a few seconds, closed it, and opened it again in Photoshop. I watched, confused, thinking it had been an accident.
I watched quietly while she erased every line of blood, every scar, every cut from my body. I started recording the screen without thinking- I needed to be able to watch it again. I knew I would need to feel that sense of… relief. That there was someone in my life who knew the extent of me and could still see through to something beautiful.
I wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important. If you feel anything close to how I felt when I saw this, I’m happy. Because you should know that it’s possible to be loved, underneath the pain and the scars and the blood. We are all beautiful.
You’re beautiful, and above all, you are not alone.
This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on Tumblr. I’m crying so hard right now.
wishful thinking on my behalf, but i know, i’ll never have something like this, but still i’m glade someone was saved from their pain, just a little bit.
(Source: somefuckergaveoutmyurl)
You’re right, I don’t “look” sick
But if you heard the things going on inside my head, you would think differently. No, I’m not sickly thin (anymore-thanks treatment) and no, I’m not starving myself for days like I use to. I am a normal weight and I do eat every day…but the things that run through my head constantly like the calories, the scale, nutrition facts, numbers, exercising, how to get away with exercising more, how to get away with eating less, how others see me, planning out my meals for the next week and the exercise to make sure I’m burning enough or eating less. Then there are the “comments” the voice in the back of your head that yells “you are a disgusting fat pig, how can you honestly think you can look decent in that” while you’re looking in the mirror or the voice that scream, “put the food down and go for a run you lard ass!” when you’re at the dinner table. These are things that no one can see. These are thoughts of a sick person, a person with an eating disorder. If people could hear the things that went on in my head, if they could hear the things that I tell myself, they would be appalled. What goes on in my head doesn’t make sense and I can guarantee that no one can tell me anything that I haven’t told myself.
First 10. 1 screenshot promo
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working on it.
(Source: speranza52393)
EVERY time I come home or go back to school, even if it’s only been a week, I still worry that people will realize how huge and disgusting I am because before they didn’t notice because they saw me all the time!
yep.
THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS! THIS!
I’ve even had professor ask me if I had eaten lunch or breakfast before a test! It’s awkward.
3 components to learning to love yourself and your body!
(Source: lapyourdreams)
yep, sore quads from my run tonight!
(Source: missapplebottom)
I’m ready, I’m strong, I will fight, and I will stick to this to make it worth it!
word.
(Source: theweightofperfection)
